When i see this image of Colin Kaepernick, i wonder lots of things: "What was he looking at? Was there someone in the stadium yelling "Kaepernick you suck!" and he happened to be able to zero in on that one person? Was it a pretty girl? Was he looking at the scoreboard, which during last season unquestionably would've shown his team losing? Was he wondering if Carrie actually killed Quinn on the last season of Homeland?(I can't be the only one who thinks he looks like an extra on Homeland...i love that show) Was he wondering why Cam Newton gets all the credit for "dabbing" when he kinda sorta started the dabbing thing after he scored touchdowns by kissing his bicep?(it was kinda a Dab) Or, was he looking to God and asking "HOW DID I GET SO TERRIBLE?"
It was the spring of 2011, the 49ers were coming off another Putrid season where they had finished 6-10 and looked even worse than that. However, hope had come, with the firing of Mike "Cant Do It" Singletary and hiring of former overachieving NFL QB turned Genius College football Coach, Jim Harbaugh(anyone that can make a school full of nerds, tree huggers, and app builders into a football powerhouse is a Genius. By the way, Thank you nerds, tree huggers and app builders, what would this world be without you!) And in the spring of 2011, The Genius drafted a numbskull that could sack the Quarterback in the 1st round(He now plays for the Raiders...when he's not suspended) and in the 2nd round he drafted a skinny, relatively unknown QB from the University of Nevada named Colin Kaepernick(Unknown because he played on the west coast and most media members pay no attention to the west coast, especially if your conference is called WAC, just don't sound like anything you should care about, but he was 2 time player of the year in that WAC) who ran and threw for a GRIP of yards in his career there: his final year he threw for 3000 yds, 21 tds, 64% comp, rushed for 1200 yds, and 20 tds...yes TWENTY, 2-0!!! He was a monster!!! And hopefully would come and eventually take the job of Average Smith, no his name is not Alex Smith, its Average Smith.
2011 Season: Kaepernick handed off the ball a few times and completed a few passes in backup duty, but showed amazing arm strength and athleticism in practice and got the coaches enthused about what could be. Especially after Average Smith managed the team to a 13-3 record where they set a league record for most FG's attempted and Made in a season, YAY!!! Then they got beat down in the NFC championship game by the eventual Super Bowl Champs the New York Giants. That game showed just how Average, Average Smith was. Basically he checked down all day, took no shots downfield and turned the 49er receivers into high paid blockers. The writing was on the wall, for this team to go further, they need a QB that would stretch defenses and widen the field. They needed Colin Kaepernick to hurry up and get good.
2012 season: Average Smith started, and got hurt midway through the season, Colin came in and BLEW UP!!!!! Running, Passing, Half Dabbing, and Killing the League!!! What could you do with him? He had the arm and confidence to fit the ball into tight spots. The safeties couldn't sneak up, they had to respect him. Linebackers and D-linemen had to worry about him running, or giving to bowling ball that was Frank Gore. He in so many words was, A Problem. He led the niners to the super bowl, along the way he eviscerated Aaron Rodgers and Green Bay, in Green Bay. Ray Lewis and the Ravens dashed my teams hopes and dreams. Next year!!
2013 season: Colin began the year as the starter with Average Smith being shipped to Kansas City for draft picks. In his first full season he looked good, not great. 3100 yds, 21 tds with 8 ints, and 500 rushing yards. The niners receivers however were not so good, and Michael Crabtree was hurt much of the year, giving the impression that if Kaepernick had good receivers, he'd have been better. Plus Seattle barely beat them in the NFC Championship, and Russell Wilson was good, but not Kap.
2014 season: Kaepernick signed one of the worst contracts for a player that ever existed. Basically, he had to ball out every year to make big money, the way it should be, but not if you're the dude in every damn commercial and doing Al Pacino impressions for Madden video games(which he's terrible in). The regression started to really show. Accuracy problems. Lack of pocket awareness. And we found out Colin Kaepernick wanted to be a model as well as an NFL QB, he was also THIRSTY on the social media platform...if a millionaire NFL qb is liking pictures of girls i know, theres a lil too much thirst going on. Focus on defenses and not the gram bruh!!! The Niners finished 8-8 and the Genius was fired. Uh-oh!!!
2015 season: Kaepernick was AWFULLLLLLL. In a game at Arizona, 2 of his first 4 passes were picked off for TD's. He threw 4int's in the game. If you listened hard enough, you could hear one of the intercepters yelling to Kap, "Don't throw it here!", Kaepernick didn't listen. He would be benched later in the season for Blaine Gabbert, yeah you know, that Blaine Gabbert. There are few things that would have me contemplate my worth on this Earth, being told Blaine Gabbert is better than me is one of those things. Niners finished 5-11.
And here we are now. Kaepernick wants to be traded cause his feelings are hurt. My feelings would be too if i were benched for Blaine Gabbert. And the niners are willing to trade him for the right price. Kaepernick's 2016 salary became guaranteed April 1st, and that salary is $11.9 million dollars. He belongs to the Niners. He wants to be traded to the Broncos, but the broncos don't want to pay him $11.9 million dollars. They want to pay him 7. They want him to take a pay cut, or have the Niners pay the 4.9 million dollars on his contract. (Record scratches) What?!!!! The 49ers are awful and in no position to be paying dudes to play somewhere else. And Colin aint stupid, giving $5 million dollars up to play for a team that just won a super bowl with a horrible QB is setting himself up for failure. They don't win with him, he damages his reputation even further and assures himself of never getting another $11 million dollar a year payday. Plus the niners just brought in Chip Kelly(the supposed QB guru and offensive genius. Ask Philly how that worked out...it didn't.) But they need to see what Chip and Colin can do with each other. And i get it, it has to suck for Colin, he's gotta show up to work for people he doesn't like, and compete wit Blaine Gabbert, but you know what he does have $11.9 million dollars. Get over it bruh...and stop sucking, please. I still wouldn't want Average Smith back...
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