Worst Week in My Sports Life!

There were :16 seconds left, they were 32 yards away from the endzone, and had no timeouts. We had played our ass' off, on the road, no Frank Gore, and no semblence of a passing game until the 2nd half. Yet and still, Brett Favre ruined my sunday! We were on our way to being 3-0, "for real", mentioned as a contender! It all came crashing down with the heave of a ball, and the tip-toeing of a seldom used receiver.
For the better part of 3 hours, i had screamed, cheered, slapped hands with almost everyone in the vicinity not wearing a Vikings jersey. Capitol City(the new, and best sportsbar in Hollywood), where i was watching the game, had become my living room. The patrons became my dad, my brother, and my friends. We were gonna be 3-0!!! We'd been terrible since T.O. left to fly with the Eagles in '04. We were gonna be 3-0!!! Alex Smith was on the sidelines, helmet safely nowhere in sight. We were gonna be 3-0!!! Mike Singletary pacing the sidelines looking cooler than Billy Dee Williams in Mahogany. We were gonna be 3-0, but Brett Favre, who coming into the game was 11-2 versus the Niners decided it wasn't to be so :-(.
Greg Lewis(yes Greg Lewis) came in because Percy Harvin was tired, and caught his first and probably only pass of the season. Sending me into shock, and causing the many family members id made come to console me. I went into the kind of shock that you only get from hearing "im late" from the girl u met at Any Club USA last week. I was sick, ill, distraught even. Life couldn't get worse, or could it?
My fantasy teams decided to take an early bye week themselves. My QB in both leagues, Drew Brees, who had thrown 9 tds in the first 2 weeks, threw zero! My starting #1 RB, Frank Gore, played all of one snap before being carted off. I'd later find out that he'd be out for 3 weeks! Tj Hoosurmama did nothing for the 3rd staight week. Matt Forte struggled for the 3rd staight week as well, notice a theme here?!! Devin Hester, Cedric Benson, and Vernon Davis all had big games, and they were all on my BENCH!!! Outcome: i lost in both my leagues. Could it get worse?
For the 2nd straight week a top 10 ranked Pac-10 team lost to an unranked opponent. Cal got the brakes beat off them by Oregon. USC struggled with Wash. St., which will be a theme througout the season as they play with a freshman QB(Matt Barkley aka Future Heisman winner). #25 Washington lost to Stanford, showing how up and down the season is gonna be for the college football landscape.
All in alll, the Niners will be fine, we play St Louis, probably shouldn't term it "play", we're gonna stomp a mudhole in those fools! Teams 'Alpha Male'(yeah that's my team names, fly huh?) will be fine, they have one hell of a GM;-)

10 Things That Caught My Eye This Week

Welcome Franchiseans(I'm starting my own Religion!), this was a great week in the sports and entertainment world. So at the culmination of every week i'll do a recap by listing a few things that stood out. Feel free to comment, or suggest things to look for in the following week. Also, if you have a sporting event that you'd like me to give my slant on. I'd also like to thank all of you for following, if i had a million dollars, id give yall one. Lol.
So here goes, and in no particular order(i don't write this stuff down, im the Jay-Z of blogging).
1. I wish i was on stage at the VMA's when Kanye West grabbed the mic from Taylor Swift! I would've swiftly(pun intended) gave him a forearm "shiver"! What a damn idiot. Maybe it's just something about MTV that he doesn't like, or maybe he's just chemically unbalanced. I'm going with the latter. Also, his attempt at a mea culpa on the (awful) Jay Leno Show only made we worry about his mental state even more.
2. The NINERS WON!!!!!!!!! Anyone know where i can get cheap tix to Miami, around the first week of February?
3. Michael Jordan gave his Basketball Hall of Fame induction speech, and sounded sort of like me... At 15, when i was a dumb, conceited, selfish, and egotistical High Schooler with a lil talent. All the years i grew up idolizing his genius, i always wondered what area he lacked in. Found out the other day.
4. David Robinson, i salute you!
5. Jay-Z dropped the Blue Print 3, again showing why he's the best that ever did it! However if Tupac were still alive, he'd hold that title. 'D.O.A.': Track of the year!
6. If anyone knows Richard Williams personally, can you please advise him to whip Serena's ass! When do you get to the point of celebrity that you can talk to people like they don't exist? Serena and Kanye just cemented themselves on BET's next episode of Embarrasing Moments in Black History(Hope David Alan Grier hosts it again, he's a genius).
7. Add Shawne Merriman to the show too. Bad move #1: dating someone who's exisitence is solely based on a reality show. Bad move #2: Restraining her from leaving, that was your chance to get her outta your life!
8. Matt Barkley or Tate Forcier will win a Heisman before they leave USC and Michigan, respectively. True Freshman aren't supposed to be this good.
9. I hate to be a prisoner of the moment, and you all know i'm a Niner fan through and through, but Tom Brady is the best QuarterBack EVER!!!! He gets the nod over Joe(Montana), only because he was a 6th round pick(Joe a 3rd), and he's got 3 rings and still has about 6 years left in the tank.
10. Tough loss for my Golden Domers. Bad playcalling by Charlie Weiss down the stretch, you cant have two incomplete passes when you should be running down the clock. That being said, Notre Dame will end the season 10-2, Weiss won't be fired, Michael Floyd will win the Belitnikoff award(Nations Best Receiver), and next year they'll be preseason top 10.
Bonus Points(this is my blog, i make the rules):
11. SEC, Big 12, Pac 10, Big Ten, Mountain West. That's my story and im stickin too it. I hate the SEC, but gotta give it to them this year.
12. Is that Jay Cutler on top of the Sears Tower?!!!
13. Is that Brian Urlacher on the street yelling "jump!!!"?
14. Watch out USC, Uof Arizona is 2-0 baby! No, im not serious.
15. I thought you said "Crack is Whack", Whitney? Bobby Brown is a helluva drug!
16. My Episode of Lincoln Heights airs Sept. 28th, 8pm on the ABC Family Channel, peep me out and then call the network and demand that i return, or you'll go on TV and proclaim "ABC Family Hates Black People".
Goodnight Now!!!!

I Hate the Oakland Raiders

Growing up in the 'Bay Area', you learn early the do's and dont's of the land. A season pass to Great America is the only way to go, you can go a max of 3 stops on the Light Rail before a cop gets on, etc. You learn later that if you're going to Oakland to party, go with at least 3 friends because you're likely to get into some funk. Don't step off the curb to approach a car full of women on Santa Clara ave., you'll get a $300 ticket that your dad will make you pay! Most importantly you learn that if you're a 49er fan, which i am, you despise the Cowboys and HATE the Raiders!!!!
There are many reasons i hate the Raiders, ill just pinpoint a few so this doesn't become a novel!
5. The team colors are awful! Black(i love my people) and silver? It's drab, dull, boring, scary, and unimaginitive. Scarlet and Gold is a much better option;-)
4. Boring post game festivities. Who the hell wants to party in Oakland? I'd rather chill in Detroit! No thriving downtown scene, but there is a thriving crime scene.
3. The fans are the worst. People have been killed, urinated on, spat upon(like that?lol), beaten down, jumped, and plain just had a bad day at Raider home games. I've won countless bets from Raider fan that swears "this is the year! so what we went 4-12 last year.", and still have not been paid from those bets. Raider fan!
2. They consistently make the worst moves. Todd Marinovich(low blow, i know). Robert Gallery, Jamarcus Russell, Darren McFadden, and these three are all in the last 3 years! Darius Hayward-Bey, drafted a guy at #7 that was projected a late first rounder if at all, then paid him as if he was a #3 draft pick forcing my Niners and their Top 5 projected pick(Michael Crabtree aka Idiot) to beef all summer long over a contract. Thanks Raiders. Traded their 1st round pick in 2011 to the Patriots for defensive end Richard Seymour, who is in the last year of his contract and has yet to show up to the team. Good one Al.
1. Al Davis is the worst Owner in Pro sports. Hires puppet coaches that he can control, fires them(see Lane Kiffin) when he cant. Selected Hayward-Bey over Crabtree because he ran a faster 40 yard dash. Even dumb raider fans agree that the team will probably progress when he's no longer with us. If that's the case, i pray Al Davis lives forever!

Week One Knockout

There are few things that give me butterflies, sleepless nights, and anxiety all at the same time. Christmas Eve, the birth of my son, big auditions, first dates with a BAD Deal(fine woman in my lingo), and opening day in College Football. Last night the games didn't live up to the hype i built up in my mind, but the post game did!
Lets start on the field. #19 Utah opened their season against in-state rival Utah St. with big questions to answer. Could coach Kyle Winningham replace 11 starters that included Sugar Bowl winning qb Brian Johnson. Can they go undefeated and play in a BCS bowl game, back to back? Well, if week one is any indicator, the answers are yes, and YES! JC transfer qb Terrence Cain threw for 286 yds and 2 td's in the Utes 35-17 triumph over the Aggies. Brian Who?!!! While they did play Utah St. and not "Powerhouse St.", the Offense and Defense looked good for their first game of the year. With a game at #16 Oregon(not for long), and home games against #17 TCU and #20 BYU on their schedule, the Utes will have a few hurdles to jump, but im gonna do what 'Franchise' Players do and call it now. Utah Utes 10-2, lol. Sorry Mormons :-(.
We also had our annual SEC(Severely Embelished Conference) opener. Steve Spurrier's always overrated South Carolina team, versus ACC bottom feeder NC State. Every year the talk is "Spurrier finally has a qb!", "Spurrier has got his total offensive package in, watchout!", and "The Old Ball Coach has SC lookin good this year." South Carolina 7-3 over NC State. Some game! Honestly, the most exciting thing about this game for me was Dave the Bartender at Essex(new restaurant on Hollywood Blvd., great beer and happy hour selection) explaining how The "Real Budweiser" is from the Czech Republic and how it came to be. The SEC will once again rely on Florida and Superman Tim Teabow, and sports writers from the south and east coast to argue that they are the toughest conference in the universe. Florida will be a Beast, Alabama will take a step back, LSU will lose 2 games, Ole Miss will be Ole Miss, Auburn will be the first team to ask if its possible to just play defense the whole time, and the rest of the SEC will continue to be glorified Big Sky teams. See how boring that game was, i started talking about it, then went to beer and everyone else in the conference. Awful.
And finally we had the game of the night: #14 Boise St. vs. #16 Oregon. Coming into the season there was plenty hype on both sides of this match-up. Can Boise St. bounce back from their 12-1 season(i know it sounds stupid to say "bounce back" from a one loss season, but when you're in the WAC and you want to play in the BCS you can't lose a game, tough cookies!) and go undefeated? Can Oregon(a notoriously slow starter) open the season against a WAC team that should be in the Pac -10 and handle business with new coach Chip Kelly calling the shots? What will 17td scoring RB Legarrette Blount and Jr. quarterback Jeremiah Masoli do for an encore? Well, if you're a Boise St fan you couldnt be happier, not only did they beat Oregon(the only top 25 ranked team on their schedule), they humiliated them. The 18-9 score didn't tell the story. Seeing Masoli look flustered and under pressure all night, Blount consistently being tackled behind the line of scrimmage, was the real indicator. With QB Kellen Moore leading the offense, that almost SEC speed defense, and the frightening blue turf of Bronco Stadium, im again callin my shot! Franchise Lock: 12-0, BCS bowl appearance for the Broncos. You heard it here first!
As for the Ducks, last nights loss should've been a learning experience and a stepping stone to a 10-2/9-3 season. However, after last nights drubbing Legarrette Blount lost his natural mind while walking off the field amidst taunts and trash talking, and sucker punched LB Byron Hout. Blount then proceeded to push his teammates that were trying to calm him down, and in a move that felt eerily like Ron Artest's night at the Palace, tried to rush the stands to fight fans. This morning Blount, a potential 1st round draft pick was suspened for the remainder of the season. He will still be on scholarship and will be allowed to continue to get his education. I commend the University of Oregon for taking swift action and not putting football over sportsmanship and responsibilty. I also commend them for allowing the young man to continue to pursue an education, if he so wishes to. That being said, Oregon lost a game and a season in one night. I give them maybe 8 wins.
As for Blount, let me get on my 'soapbox' for a minute. Too often we as people make knee-jerk reactions, we cuss-out the driver that cut us off, we assume and make asses out ourselves, we get intoxicated and think driving is a good idea. Last night Blount cost his team wins, and he and his family MILLIONS, and for what? So what the dude was talking trash to you and you aint no punk. I'd rather be a punkass millionaire, than a Fed-ex delivery man with a nice left. Damn!!!

Hall of Fame???

Let's play a game, Guess the Hall of Famer. In this game, i give you stats, you guess whether they belong to a Hall of Famer or not. Here we go, A. 12yrs, 2 Super Bowl rings, 1088tkls, 142 sacks, and 9ints B. 11yrs, 1 SB ring, 1488tkls, 19 sacks, and 7ints C. 10yrs, 0 SB rings, 642tkls, 126 sacks, and 1int D. 14yrs, 3 SB rings, 1065tkls, 30sacks, and 12ints. If you picked one or two, you're wrong. There's 3 Hof'ers here, and im arguing for the 4th.
A. Lawrence Taylor- arguably the greatest defensive player of all-time(Deion Sanders if you ask me). The man changed the outside linebacker position to what we know today. B. Mike Singletary- Leader of "The Monster's of The Midway" defense of the '85 Bears. The eyes that made you glad he wasn't you're dad! And last but not least, Head Coach of my beloved Niners. C. Derrick Thomas- BEAST!! Was a sack machine, more of a DE than a backer. Hey, not his fault he played in the 3-4, but definitely his fault that your QB missed a few weeks after facing him. Gone too soon :-(. D. Tedy Bruschi- The unquestioned leader of Patriots' Super Bowl teams defense. Was never flashy, never brash, he was just "always there". Let the Hating begin!!!
For: Brusci played in, and won 3of 4 Super Bowl appearances. He was a 3rd round draft pick in the '96 draft(Uof AZ baby!), didn't become a full time starter until '99 where he was 2nd on the team in tackles with 138 despite missing two games with a sprained knee. 2 time Pro Bowler '04 and '05. 2nd team All Pro '04, '05 Co-NFL Comeback Player of the Year(Shared with Steve Smith of the Panthers). Did i mention he won 3 Super Bowls!
Against: Was never at anytime considered the Best Linebacker in the game. Only 2 Pro Bowl selections(please know that im saying "only" for context, i'd makeout with Betty White to catch an NFL pass let alone be selected to a Pro Bowl). Never a 1st team All Pro, and never a Defensive MVP.
After all is said and done, Bruschi will be in the College Football Hall of Fame. His name will go up at Gillete Stadium, and his number most likely will be retired. However, he will not be in the Pro Football Hall of Fame. At the press confrence to announce his retirement his former head coach Bill Belichick(widely known to be stone-faced and heartless), brokedown in tears when asked to describe Tedy Bruschi. His answer, "he was the Perfect player." Too bad there isn't a Hall for those guys.