Im back..."Did you miss me?!!!"(Varnell Hill voice...if you don't get the reference, kill yourself.) Its been a long 6 years, but i was busy being broke, making money, being broke, and making money again...its life. For those of you who know me, you know that I'm a Die Hard-Lakers Fan. I bleed Puple and Yellow, i just don't wear their merchandise cause the colors don't look good with anything, and I'm too old to be wearing jerseys with other mens names on the back(nor do i buy jersey's and put my name on the back cause thats WHAAAAACK!) And for those who know me or don't, I'm also REAL, #100(for the millennials), so real that this past weekend i was having an exchange with a dear friend of mine and it went something like this: Me: you a real dude man(while my arm is on his shoulder). Friend: You the realest dude i know. Me: I know. (Arm still on shoulder). We both commenced to laughing, not because i was being funny, but because we knew i was dead serious. So when i say the Los Angeles Lakers are PUTRID, I'm dead serious. Lets count the reasons why, and surprisingly it has nothing to do with their record.
1st reason why the Los Angeles Lakers are PUTRID: Kobe Bryant . Now let me make this clear, I'm all for dudes getting paid ridiculous amounts to be awful at their job. Hell, i wish someone would pay me $25 million dollars to shoot 35% from the field(2nd worst in the league for qualifying players), lead the league in pump fakes attempted that no one fell for, chill at the end of the bench and laugh with Robert Sacre(if that Robert Sacre's job, to chill at the end of the bench and laugh at all Kobes jokes, congratulations sir, you have won at life ). But Kobe and his contract has killed the Lakers chances on the court. No one wants to play with 'The Black Mamba' or as i call him 'The Black Hole'. Lamarcus Aldridge passed on the Lakers to play for the San Antonio Spurs...The San Antonio Spurs!!!! He passed on Sunset Blvd, Penthouse Day Club(google it...lose ur mind), Mastros and the Butter Cake, Rodeo Drive, Malibu, Greystone and 1Oak...for The Alamo and fresh pico de gallo? WTF?!!! Greg Monroe passed on the Lakers too, for the Milwaukee Bucks!!! Jesus Lord, take me now!!! Why? Because no one wants to play with a Black Hole, or a dude that doesn't really feel the need to speak to you once you join the team: https://youtu.be/FcTAYTKD0n4 There will be plenty of fans that will give you the "he's a warrior", "its his Killer instinct", "they need to earn his respect" nonsense. That is all well and good when you're winning championships, but when he's a broken down shell of himself all that stuff does is push people away and make everyone dislike you. And this Farewell Tour has been just unwatchable. I don't want to remember my superstars limping out to jack up shots for nonsensical fans. The end of this season can't come soon enough. However in the midst of being the 2nd worst shooter in the league, Kobe contributed to this awful record that helps to ensure that the Lakers' top 3 protected draft pick will remain ours. Thanks Kobe...i guess.
2nd Reason the Los Angeles Lakers are PUTRID: Their latest draft picks stink. Ill admit, with the No.2 pick in the 2015 draft, if Karl Towns(BEAST) wasn't available, i wanted the Lakers to draft Deangelo Bust-ell over Jahlil Okafor. Both are and will be marginal players in this league. Okafor because he's too big and slow to play in the new NBA. It's easy math, if Lurch can't guard small 5's or shoot 3's, Lurch can't play. Deangelo, because he's jump shot dependent, has zero quicks, and he engages in Busterish activities: http://sports.yahoo.com/blogs/nba-ball-dont-lie/d-angelo-russell-hears-the-boos-and-begins-his-long-walk-back-182543151.html
What the hell was he thinking?!!! Were his childhood idols Montel Williams, Chauncey from Menace, Snitching Randy from The Wire? Where is this behavior allowed? Now, he's 20 years old, so maybe he just lacks the maturity, but someone at some point in his life should have learned him to the rules "What Happens in the Lockeroom/Hotel Room, Stays in the Lockeroom/Hotel Room." And he can recover from this, he just has to ball out, and fight Nick Young. Oh yes, they gotta fight. Until then, every time he walks into the locker room its gonna be like a record scratched. All convos end, and the silent treatment begins. Im not clearing Nick Young of any wrong doing either, all dirt comes to the surface eventually, you just don't expect your boys to be doing the filtering! All that said, i don't see Bust-ell staying on the team past his rookie contract. Too many clubs and cheaters in LA for guys to worry about the Feds being in their Locker Room. Maybe OKC, id imaging that's where a lot of witness relocation takes place. Meanwhile, the jury is still out on Julius Randle. If he gets a jumper and realizes he has a right hand, he could be special.
3rd and final reason the Los Angeles Lakers are PUTRID: Steph Curry. This lil light skinned dude has made everyone else in this league irrelevant. Russell Westbrook has 16 triple doubles in the month of March...16!!! Lebron is still the best basketball player on the planet. Kevin Durant is arguably the 2nd best basketball player on the planet. Do we care? Hell No! Why, cause they aint Steph. He's changing the way basketball is being played. The game was simple: Score more than the other team, by getting the easiest shot possible. Forever that shot had been a dunk/layup or any shot close to the rim. The NBA put in the 3pt shot to add risk and skill to the game, guys that could make that long distance shot would be rewarded an extra point for their marksmanship. There were few who had the skill and usually they lacked other skills, like deft ball handling and quickness to get past defenders, so they were a special asset to a team, a situational player. They might shoot 40% from 3pt but they only got a few attempts a game so it hurt but didn't kill the other team. Steph Curry has made the 3pt shot a layup to him. He's attempted 796 3pt fgs to 650 2pt fgs, he makes 45% of those 3's and 57% of the 2's which all equals= UNGUARDABLE. He's not just pulling up from the standard line, he's pulling up 4 feet behind that which means you have to guard him from there, but he's got handles out of this world and he's lightening quick so he's going around you. Defenses have to stretch out, giving more room for other teammates to flourish aka Draymond Green and Klay Thompson. Teams are now taking more 3's because you can't keep trading 2's for 3's with Steph and his gang of shooters! Teams such as the Lakers have to draft backcourt heavy in hopes of finding someone to compete with Steph Curry(28 years old) for the next 7 years. Alas, the Lakers draft the aforementioned Deangelo Bust-ell. So, Damn you Steph Curry. Damn you to hell!!!
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P.S.S. Be on the lookout for the podcast coming soon!!!
